Jean Paul Gaultier’s haute couture collection for this fall/winter can be described in three words: hot, whoreish and hilarious. As is the nature of haute couture, some of the designs were a bit way-out and over-the-top. Jean Paul is famous for his impressive and innovative style and design talents. This collection is classic Gaultier in every respect.

Guests to the show included French actress Catherine Deneuve, French Minister for Culture Frederic Mitterrand and fashion photographer Mario Testino. Gothic burlesque queen Dita von Teese also attended the show – as a model, walking the runway at number thirty-two dressed as a vampire in a floor length black satin number. The dress incorporated the big shoulders of the 1980s and the toga of ancient Greece and Rome. I love it.

The models came out holding cigarettes and wearing high twisted turbans so as to portray the Parisian brothel crossed with Arabian chic inspiration for the collection.

Gaultier also took inspiration from under the sea with a series of scuba style designs in neoprene-leather, backed with the same type of foam usually found in a padded bra. Scuba style jackets and dresses, in silver and black, were embroidered with articulated joints at the shoulder, elbow and hip, or else worn with mink fins along the sleeves.

The couture bridal piece came in the form of Elena Lazic walking the runway in a white satin trench coat playing the Wedding March on a white violin. Très eccentric.

The show wound up with Dita von Teese walking again wearing rather plain lingerie with what looks like moulded glittery black wax hugging her bone structure. Not exactly my taste, but haute couture is all about the innovative and the inspirational.

• Recommend on Facebook
• Tweet about it
• Tell a friend

It’s like a pick ‘n mix of Hollywood Glamour, the Oscars are the night when the most perfect are dolled up to the nines to look their best, but some still fall short.  Here are my picks for best dressed, worst dressed and a few other observations.

Best Dressed

Sandra Bullock looked fab in this beaded Marchesa gown.  So pretty and glamorous and suited the occasion perfectly.  Because of the amount of detailing and lush fabric this is a look not easily replicated by us mere mortals.

Jennifer Lopez’s irrediscent pink Armani Privé (Armani Haute Couture) gown showcases a trend that Jennifer Hudson wore at this years golden globes – origami folds.  Jo Lo really got it right this year compared to last years gold mess.  The iridescent pink combines two other major trends in colour this year – blush tones and metallic.  Poor Amanda Seyfried wore a very similar dress also by Armani – ouch someone’s in trouble.

Not so Nice

Nicole Richie got a great response in this Reem Acra vintage gown but sorry I just don’t like it.  I think it swamps her tiny frame and makes her look about ten years older than she is.  The dark hair, dark make-up and dark dress combined are just so depressing.

Demi Moore gets marks for a good effort in this Versace but unfortunately her fake tan blends in with the dress, and I’m so over blush ruffles, Penelope Cruz did this look at the 2007 Oscars in a gown also by Versace.

Risk Takers

Sarah Jessica Parker often takes risks on the red carpet and somehow she always manages to pull it off.  It must be her off centre beauty as I don’t think this dress would look half as nice on a classic beauty.  By the way it’s Chanel Coture.

What the Hec?

Poor Charlize Theron.  She is the face of Dior but some cruel person at Dior put her in this awful creation.  It looks like one of Madonna’s corsets got wrapped in a bridesmaid dress.  I know it’s Haute Couture but that’s no excuse for making someone look just plain silly.

• Recommend on Facebook
• Tweet about it
• Tell a friend