Lindsay Lohan: All About The Sex?
Over the past few years, Lindsay’s career has gone from teen-queen to wannabe lesbian to “oh, that fool”. Despite this, I like Lindsay, and I usually don’t like train wrecks; I think they’re sad and pathetic. But, I’d love to see Lindsay admit her problems, seek help (sticking with the treatment this time) and make a Britney Spears worthy comeback. However, judging from one of her new flicks, Lindsay is still going out of her way to demonise herself in Hollywood.
Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story (a film by Matthew Wilder) is about the first pornographic actress to earn mainstream recognition. Parts of the script were leaked to some publication in America and apparently the script is “downright harrowing”.
“As you might expect, the story is full of sex and filthy language — but there’s also shocking violence. You’ll find child abuse, three orgasms, two beatings, intense humiliation and a bloody car crash — all in the first 32 pages alone.”
Like, does Lindsay honestly think this is the type of movie that will launch her back into the public’s good graces? It sounds terrible, not because of the script, I imagine it’s going to be a very emotional and difficult film to watch, but because it’s dirty, cheap and sleazy. Yes, we know there are situations like that the world over, but we don’t want to see America’s (once upon a time) Sweetheart playing the lead, and we certainly don’t want to see a low budget movie about a glorified prostitute!
“The first disturbing scene involves a young Linda being smacked in the face by her mother, who also burns her daughter’s hand with a Bic lighter. This is page 10 —- in other words, within the first 10 minutes of the film.”
I won’t be surprised if the film goes straight to DVD or is one of those artsy, independent films that no-one hears about. Whatever the case, Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story is not for the faint hearted or those of us who have happy family situations.
Proenza Schouler Jeans: Worth The $550 Price Tag?
I wrote about the Proenza Schouler/J Brand collaboration jeans in the first edition of The News: Fashion Buzz. Well, they’re here. Well, not here in Ireland exactly, but on sale.
The graffiti’ed skinny jeans come with the (ridiculous?) price tag of $550 and specific care instructions such as, carefully hand wash and never iron. A lot of work for just a pair of jeans, right? Well, number one – they’re Proenza Schouler (the IT designer of the last decade and quite possible the next one) and two – the design is hand painted. Begging the question:
Are these scarily over-priced jeans or an extremely affordable work of art?
Decide for yourself at www.proenzaschouler.com.
Review Of Machete: “Lindsay [Lohan] Is Nude The Whole Time!”
By now, I’m sure most of you have seen the infamous snap shot from Lindsay’s other new movie Machete, where she’s dressed in a nun’s costume holding up (presumably) a machete.
Well, according to Jezebel.com, an anonymous tipster saw Robert Rodriguez’s Machete and has this to say about it:
“I saw Machete… but Lindsay is barely in it. She’s nude almost the whole time and she has a videotaped ménage-à-trois with her mother and Danny Trejo in a pool. Her father pulls her out of a drug den type situation and confesses [to a priest] lustful thoughts about his daughter. I don’t know if the small role was tailored to her.”
Like the movie about the prostitute, eh, I mean ‘porn star’, this movie probably won’t be Lindsay’s ticket out of social Siberia when it comes to Hollywood.
Like, is she blind or what? Does she honestly not see that these type of film aren’t going to endear her towards anyone other than pimple teenage boys, serial killers and incestuous families from God only knows where?
Lindsay: Cop On! The public really want to like you again but you’re making it impossible for us to take you seriously!
And Finally, A Little Taste Of Taylor Heaven
Taylor Momsen (GOD!!!) returned to the set of Gossip Girl last week to begin filming for the grand return of Jenny Humphrey to Manhattan’s Upper East Side half way through the show’s fourth season. It’s about time!
I honestly don’t know if I’m going to be able to sit through that looser Serena whine and moan at Blair (who I now hate for being such a bitch to Jenny in the season three finale) about her endless love troubles and ‘daddy issues’, while Dan raises his love child with Satan (Georgina Sparks) and Chuck and Nate have it off with every high end call girl in Chuck’s little black book without Jenny right there to dilute it all and add a touch of normalcy to the whole thing. She’s the only one who isn’t a raving sociopath!
Seriously, will the first half of season four be worth my time if the only characters left that I like are Rufus and Lilly, and little Eric, of course (except when he said mean things about Jenny to Rufus)?
Uh, I don’t know.
The new season kicks off in Paris, after which Blair finds it hard to settle in in Columbia University and Dan struggles to play daddy, all the while, not telling his own daddy about baby.
‘Ooh, how original and creative.’











































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